It is often said that dreams are how the subconscious works out the issues you haven’t been facing yet. Kind of like glimpsing all the things under the fog.
If that is true, then I really was not paying attention for a long time I think. I had a dream in which I was walking through a building, and all these strange characters kept bumping into me, pretty hard. So I keep seeing these flashes every time someone bumps me, but I am not thinking anything of it. Then, over a PA system I hear announced, “If you die again the game will reset.”
This disturbs me more than a little, so I move toward a broken elevator and step in. The elevator doors closed after I stepped in, and I don’t think that anyone was following me. I stood in the elevator looking around, the panels were busted but there was another set of doors on the other side. I was contemplating which way to go when I woke up.
A metaphor for life
If I were to take that as a metaphor for much of my life, it is likely that I was walking through life getting beat down and not even realizing how much things were beating me down. But when I had a break to get away from it, going through a different door into something that could be better or could be potentially worse; well that was scary.
I did go through the other door in my life. More than once, and life took some messed up turns but it got better. As did I.
Many of the things I have gone through have helped me to understand just why people have so much problem with change. Change is fucking scary. Change is hard. And sometimes we screw up.
As long as we keep learning, keep making the choice to change in positive ways, we will rise up. Our lives will get better as will we.
Change is hard and scary and beautiful and wonderful and fantastic in ways we don’t see just yet.
Keep changing, because that my friends is life.